This blog post feels like a Seinfeld TV episode where they gave the characters nicknames like the Close Talker, The Low Talker, The Bubble Boy, or The Hipster Doofus. This post is about The Fast Eater.
When I was in elementary school, I had a friend who was a fast eater; he could wolf down a piece of cake in no time flat. My mother was a fantastic baker, so when he came over, I was always surprised that he just slurped up baked goods instead of chewing them to enjoy them. He often made fun of me for eating slower than he did. He said, “I eat like a girl.” In the 1980s, comparing a boy to a girl was one of the biggest insults, aside from Yo Mama jokes, which became a part of pop culture in the 90s. He was so brutal that if I didn’t keep up with him, he would just grab my piece of cake and shove it into his mouth.
When you are eight years old, you don’t have a lot of life experience or a good frame of reference to tell you what is what; you are just trying to figure it out as you go. So my eight-year-old self really did think I was a slow eater. When you are young, these situations really do make you feel like you are being judged because you don’t have the context to tell you otherwise.
As life progressed, I realized that I more or less eat at an above-average pace; he was just a really fast eater. On a recent trip to Cannon Beach to watch the sunset over Haystack Rock, I bumped into him at a Costco while picking up snacks and gas, as you do on a proper road trip. I almost didn’t recognize him: one, we are both considerably older, and two, he was quite large. I tried not to pass judgment, and it was great to see an old friend and catch up a bit (even if he did steal my cake).
After a relaxing weekend at Cannon Beach, it was time to make the drive back to the airport and fly home to Denver, Colorado, and get back to doing what I love: building custom furniture. If you are looking for a furniture designer who will not judge your design decisions but will help guide you based on experience and context, reach out to Benham Design Concepts, one of the best furniture designers in Colorado.
I’m the owner of Benham Design Concepts, a Colorado-based Custom Furniture design and fabrication studio. I design and build custom furniture that resembles works of art, using materials such as wood, glass, stone, and metals. The furniture I produce serves not only as practical items but also as works of art, infusing character and style into any space.
